better
F A M
I L Y
“You really can’t
hide things
lik e
th is
from your
kids. When I got my oldest from school that day, she knew
instantly something was wrong.”
AMY PRITCHETT, LAID OFF IN JANUARY
d o es th is give you tim e to v e n t a n d p o nder,
y o u ’ll o ften find y o u r c h a ts tak e y o u r jo b
se arc h in su rp risin g n e w d irectio n s.
O L D E N O U G H T O H E L P
M o st sch o o l-ag e kids u n d e rsta n d th e im p act
o f a p a re n t lo sin g a job. T een s m ay b e
esp ecially c o n ce rn e d , for th e fam ily a n d for
th e ir future. B u t th e y ’re old e n o u g h to h elp
in th e ir o w n w ay too. K eep th e m in fo rm ed
a n d let th e m d o th e ir p art. Y ou’ll b e a
stro n g e r fam ily fo r it.
SHARE THE PROBLEM AND THE PLAN
Tell o ld e r
kids th a t y ou’ve lo st y o u r job. “B ut d o n ’t tell
th e m u n til you have so m e k in d o f g am e
p lan in place,” says G alinsky. E ven as th e y ’re
d e a lin g w ith th e n e w s o f a lost job, k id s find
co m fo rt in th e k n o w led g e th a t y o u ’re
alread y th in k in g a b o u t th e n e x t step.
ENCOURAGE QUESTIONS
L et kids k n o w th ey
can ask you an y th in g , an y tim e, ab o u t th e
situ atio n . D o n ’t b e su rp rise d if th e y co m e
b ack w ith a h u n d re d q u estio n s. A n sw er
th e m as fully as you can or, if you d o n ’t
k n o w th e an sw er, tell th e m th at.
LET THEM HELP
K ids m ay n o t b e able to
ch an g e a p a re n t’s jo b pro sp ects, b u t th ey can
feel m o re in co n tro l if th e y each h av e a
responsibility to h an d le. “L et th e m com e u p
w ith w ays you can save m o n ey an d p u t th e m
in ch arg e o f th e ideas th a t m ake sense,” says
Galinsky. A p p o in t o ne child th e h o u seh o ld
en erg y czar, in ch arg e o f tu rn in g o u t lights;
a n o th e r could clip co u p o n s to h ed g e g rocery
costs. W o rk in g to w ard a co m m o n goal yields
hu g e d iv id en d s in red u c in g anxiety.
LOOK FOR LESSONS
M ak e su re y o u r o ld e r kids
u n d e rs ta n d th a t u n e m p lo y m e n t is serio u s
b u t su rm o u n tab le. “I t’s te m p tin g to w a n t to
sh ield y o u r kids fro m reality, b u t y o u ’re n o t
d o in g th e m an y favors if you p re te n d th is
isn ’t a b ig deal,” says G alinsky. “L o sin g a jo b
is h a rd a n d can lead to ev en h a rd e r choices.
B u t it’s reality. K ids n eed to k n o w th a t
ev ery o n e h a s ad v ersity an d setb ack s in life—
th e y w ill too. I t’s h o w you face th e h ard
tim es th a t really d efin e you as a p a re n t an d
a p o sitiv e exam ple.”
FAM ILIES USA is an
online resource about
various aspects of
health insurance and
COBRA benefits. It
also has advice for
the uninsured.
fam iliesusa.org
U.S. D EPA R TM EN T
O F H O U SIN G A N D
URBAN
D EVELO PM EN T
(H U D ) offers
numerous resources,
including a guide to
avoid home foreclosure.
hud.gov/foreclosure/
JU S T N EED TO
TA LK ? Visit
allaboutcounseling. com
for a list of toll-free
hotlines and other
resources.
One Family’s Story
A M Y P R IT C H E T T
FIN A N CE A N D A CCO U N TIN G SP ECIA LIST
K A N SA S C IT Y
I was laid off in January 2009—they did it over the phone,
just called me up and told me not to bother coming in. It
was awful! My husband’s a teacher, so I was the main
breadwinner for us and our three daughters (12,10, and 2).
You really can’t hide things like this from your kids. When I
got my oldest from school that day, she knew instantly
something was wrong. I told them I’d lost my job—but we
were going to pull together to make it work.
I had to take my youngest out of day care— I was going
to be home, so it was an expense we couldn’t justify. It took
a while to find our groove. I take her to a sitter now one
day a week so she gets her away time and I get mine. Those
first weeks were the hardest. My husband and I really leaned
on each other and talked out our worries together, after the
kids were asleep.
The older girls wanted to be
involved, to help out. So we started
a new family tradition: Every
Sunday, my older girls make the family dinner. We give them
a budget and take them to the store to buy ingredients. It’s
fun and it definitely teaches the girls the importance of
sticking to a budget.
There have been other lessons. We told the girls they’d
have to wait to buy some new clothes this year, and they’re
handling that just fine. Honestly, if I had kept my job, I might
never have gotten around to teaching them these things. In
some ways, losing my job actually made us closer. You can’t
buy that on any salary.
2 4 6 SEPTEMBER 2009 BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS
